A Very Special Species of Turtle

The North American Suburban Plush Turtle (Terrapene Yankeeburbia Fuzzidee) is a specially evolved subspecies within a group of hinge-shelled turtles, normally called box turtles. T.y. Fuzzidee is native to the North American continent, particularly the United States.

The North American Suburban Plush Turtle is one of two species of plush turtles found in the United States, the other being the Ty Trendy Pygmy Turtles (Terrapene Beanius Babius) that experienced a rapid population explosion followed by an equally rapid decline in online auction value in the late twentieth century. Although they are less popular as plush companions, they are not considered an endangered species.

North American Suburban Plush Turtle are not necessarily slow crawlers. Some are quadrupeds and some are bi-pedal according to preference. The bi-pedal plush turtles in particular, have been known to come when called to supper at record speeds. Many Plush Turtles have extremely long lives and are slow to mature. These characteristics, along with a propensity to get into mischief and tease household pets, make the plush turtle species particularly susceptible to trouble. They should be closely supervised at all times.


North American Suburban Plush Turtles have a dome-like carapace and a hinged plastron that allows total shell closure. The fuzzy carapace can be of variable coloration, normally in found shades of brownish or green, but sometimes in a Technicolor rainbow of hues or accompanied by various eye-pleasing patterns. Skin coloration is much the like that of the shell, variable, but is often green or brown with some yellow.

Distribution & Habitat

The North American Suburban Plush Turtles are found throughout the United States, but have been known to emigrate to different climates through various modes of vehicular travel. Plush Turtles occur primarily in urban and suburban areas, especially where central air-conditioning, stocked pantries and premium cable television are readily available. The North American Suburban Plush Turtle is considered uncommon to rare in rural regions, opting to leave those habitats to other species of turtles and tortoises; however, populations of Plush Turtles can be found vacationing in areas not native to the species, particularly on beaches, casinos and dude ranches where luxury accommodations are in ample supply. The North American Suburban Plush Turtle feels the most safe and comfortable indoors with climate controlled ambient temperature of about 75 degrees Fahrenheit. They have also been known to take "baths" in washing machines on gentle cycle. These types of baths are considered a necessary thrill to the Plush Turtle's existence.

Behavior & diet

The eating habits of North American Suburban Plush Turtles vary greatly due to individual tastes and preferences. Unlike warm-blooded animals, their metabolism doesn't necessarily drive their appetite; instead, they can just lessen their activity to "couch potato" level, retreat into their shells and halt their food intake until better options, or the pizza delivery man, arise. However, most Plush Turtles would rather pig out and enjoy each meal as though it was their last! North American Suburban Plush Turtles are opportunistic omnivores and will feed on a variety of meals and snacks. There are many foods which are universally enjoyed by North American Suburban Plush Turtle, which include pizza, coffee, beans, burgers, French fries, various fruits, hoagies, sushi, turkey dinner with all the trimmings, cakes, pies, cookies, quiche, candy, steak, potatoes, and more. True to their terrapin heritage, some North American Suburban Plush Turtles will partake in the occasional snack of earthworms, snails, slugs, grubs, beetles, flies (they particularly favor the bodies and leave the heads), and fire ants (for their spicy flavor). Many times, they will eat an item of food just because it looks and smells edible, such as jerky, pork rinds or potato chips, even though the food item may be unhealthy or totally void of nutritional value. North American Suburban Plush Turtles are also known to have consumed beans, lentils, or certain vegetables making themselves flatulent, and therefore intolerable to polite company. Anecdotal evidence suggests that hatchling North American Suburban Plush Turtles can pass gas forcefully enough to blow the doors off a well-maintained barn. There is as yet no concrete evidence to support this theory.

Thousands of North American Suburban Plush Turtles are brought home from the wilds of the toy store every year. Captive turtles may complain and rebel furiously if they aren't fed, watered, and pampered properly. Although North American Suburban Plush Turtles may make hardy housemates, they are very difficult to keep owing to their many requirements. They require diversity of entertainments, run of the house, an assortment of junk foods, broadband Internet access, comfortable and clean surroundings, companionship, ego stroking, a 400 thread-count basking area (for basking in their own glory as well as for sleeping). While many humans find the company of the North American Suburban Plush Turtle enjoyable and rewarding, they (the turtles) can be quite demanding and are known to take over entire households.